Posted in Self Esteem

When You Have Low Self Esteem Your Best is Never Good Enough

I used to think if I hadn’t burst a blood vessel on trying to achieve something, I failed. If I wasn’t making myself physically, mentally and emotionally ill with worry and stress, I was slacking. This is a problem when you have low self-esteem. No matter how much effort you plough into a project, no matter how hard you work, no matter what you achieve, you can never live up to your own expectations. I used to call myself a perfectionist but now I know better. Continue reading “When You Have Low Self Esteem Your Best is Never Good Enough”

Posted in Other

5 Reasons Men Use Pornography That Are Not About Women

Pornography receives a lot of (mostly justified, but not always) criticism from all angles. It is said to objectify women; some former porn stars have come out and confessed horror stories about the industry. Psychologists criticise that it creates unhealthy expectations in relationships amongst young men (though why we don’t ascribe the same criticisms to romance literature that creates equal but different damaging relationship expectations in young women is anybody’s guess). Continue reading “5 Reasons Men Use Pornography That Are Not About Women”

Posted in Dating / Relationships, Mental Health

Signs She Wants You Co-Dependent

While I am certainly not brooding, the more I look back on my marriage the more I realise how toxic it was. One of the main issues for my ex-wife is her unhealthy co-dependency issues. Although it largely focused on an overbearing mother, there were signs for many years that she wanted me in an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with her. Here are the signs that your wife or girlfriend wants you to be co-dependent. Continue reading “Signs She Wants You Co-Dependent”

Posted in Mental Health

What Would It Take For You to See a Man as Vulnerable?

This wonderful and hard-hitting new advert from Childline – the UK charity for children going through difficulties, is once again tackling teenage suicide. This advert will resonate with any adult man or teenage boy struggling with mental illness and the daily anxieties, anger, frustration and emotional rollercoaster. Please watch it. Continue reading “What Would It Take For You to See a Man as Vulnerable?”

Posted in Dating / Relationships, Self Esteem

The Thoughts in Your Head on a Date When You Have Self-Esteem Issues

I can hardly believe it’s been over three years since I last went on a date (not a bad thing, I’m in a relationship as my long-term readers will know). At the time I started dating in late 2012, I was also starting to do something about my self-esteem issues. That meant much more anxiety than anybody else may be experiencing. I remember most of my dates with fondness. Equally, I remember some of the critically negative thoughts that accompanied even the best dates. Continue reading “The Thoughts in Your Head on a Date When You Have Self-Esteem Issues”

Posted in Gender

Why I Have SOME Sympathy for MGTOW

There appear to be three “branches”, if you like, to the men’s movement. I think the one for which I have the most sympathy would be MGTOW (or Men Going Their Own Way). MRAs seem to be a largely right wing group (which I am not and do not identify with a large majority of their arguments). PUA seem to be about manipulating people based on pseudo-psychology and quack theories. In the middle is this group MGTOW. Continue reading “Why I Have SOME Sympathy for MGTOW”

Posted in Mental Health

Dos and Don’ts for Living with a Depressed Man

My mood has been up and down over the last week and I have no explanation. I am feeling more fulfilled in life and happier than I ever have. It might be the winter blues, but I don’t think I have ever noticed a marked reduction in my mood during the colder months than the spring and summer. In fact, it last happened 18 months ago on a warm summer’s day. Continue reading “Dos and Don’ts for Living with a Depressed Man”