Posted in Separation / Divorce

Itchy feet

I can be quite flighty at times. I could wake up one morning on my day off and decide that I want to go somewhere specific today. It just comes on – I have to get out of the house and I end up feeling like a caged animal if I don’t get out. I’ve been fed up with being stuck indoors for the last couple of weekends, with nothing to do and limited options because of the crappy English summer weather, and not knowing what to do.

This morning I woke up determined to get out. I got up, had breakfast, showered and went straight to the railway station and hopped on a train to London. I spent all day there (having arrived at about 10am and getting back about an hour ago) and saw as much as I could in the day. It was wonderful not having to worry about anyone or anything. just going where I wanted, doing what I wanted and changing my plans if I damn well pleased. My wife hated travelling into London and we never went together more than once or twice a year; she always got anxious in big crowds too. I, on the other hand, am capable of ignoring crowds and just focussing on where I want to get to.

I’m afraid this was not taken in London

I’m now completely exhausted but feel all the better for it. My itch was scratched and I feel slightly more cultured and energised than I did this morning. I also feel that I achieved something today. I’ve never been scared of doing stuff like this, I don’t even think of it as being a scary thing; in fact, fear never comes into it so when my wife said I was brave for not being scared of doing intense things like going to London on my own, it never registered. It is just a facet of my character.

Achievement and enjoyment are now becoming a big part of the self-help book (I’m about halfway through). In time I will sum up how that is progressing and how I feel it is helping me focus on things I might not otherwise have considered.

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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