Posted in Separation / Divorce

Itchy feet 2

I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment, I am so full of energy and feel the need to be constantly on the move.

When I have felt like this before, it has been as a result of a deeply ingrained sense of perfectionism – I feel I have to be achieving something every minute of every day or I will feel I’ve wasted a day. I’ve burnt myself out many times with this destructive behaviour and I’m pleased to have realised how destructive it has been to my physical and psychological well-being. This is different in that it isn’t about feeling the need for achievement; it is purely an abundance of energy and a desperate urge to work it off.

Last night I even went for a run to try to get rid of some of this energy. The thing is, I hate running! As far as exercise goes I’d rather be swimming or cycling because at least I find those activities enjoyable. I’d take a ten mile cycle ride over a half-mile run any day of the week. I like the way my legs ache after a cycle ride and the natural high it gives you. After swimming my arms and legs feel stronger almost immediately.

I have been making a conscious effort to lose weight – 6lb in three weeks so far but I doubt that is it as all I am doing is eating sensibly. No snacks, no dessert and normal meals. I want to lose around 3st in total.

Despite going for a run, I didn’t actually get much sleep last night so this boundless energy is coming from somewhere! I really want to put it to good use while I have it. I’m feeling better for having done it and I know the more I do it (assuming I can keep it up!), the healthier I will be, the better I will feel about myself physically and psychologically.

EDIT: I went for a run again tonight. Obviously this is my second jog ever so I didn’t push too hard, my heart was screaming out in pain, lol! I feel better for having done it though.

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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