Posted in Dating / Relationships

What I look for in a partner

When I move on into the world of dating as a divorcee, I know I need to think about the sort of person I want in my life. I’m not choosy (can’t really afford to be!) but I do know the sort of person I couldn’t be with. I couldn’t, for example, be with somebody who wasn’t intelligent. That doesn’t mean that I will only date a particle physicist – there is an emotional intelligence that I am attracted to as well. Somebody who has poise and sophistication and at least giving the illusion of confidence.

I couldn’t be with somebody who didn’t like to travel or had no desire to do new things. I guess that explains the crush on Helen Skelton I developed last year! I couldn’t be with somebody whose world extended only as far as the pub. I need somebody who wants to see the great outdoors and to visit new places. I can’t imagine going a single calendar year having not visited somewhere new – distance is irrelevant.

I can’t be with somebody who had a high opinion of herself, or somebody vaccuous (I guess that omits most Z list celebs). I need somebody with whom I would gain some sort of fulfillment in life, long cosy chats sipping wine in front of the fire contemplating the things we enjoy in life and planning our next adventure.

Preferably somebody a bit nerdy – nerdy women are incredibly endeering, interesting people to be around with infectious enthusiasm and a lot of fun. And because they are nerdy they more often than that have higher than average intelligence. Intelligence and playfulness in one package… what’s not to like?

“I want a soul mate who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don’t already know, and make me laugh. I don’t care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there.”



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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