Posted in Separation / Divorce

The beginning of the end

Finally, some 10 months after the wife and I decided it was all over, the first tentative steps to physical separation are being made. As I said a few days ago, we have filed for divorce. But there is another development.

I’m moving out.

Following arguments of a few weekends ago I have finally decided that I can no longer remain in this house. The neediness of my mother in law and her inappropriate attempts at playing happy families have taken their toll and I no longer feel I can stay here.

I hoped that this wouldn’t be necessary until I got a new job more relevant to my qualifications and most importantly – with better pay. But needs must and I’m moving into temporary lodgings until I’m back on my feet and can afford my own place.

I feel a mix of emotions: relief, frustration, numbness, concern about whether I will get on with housemates (as I’m quite the introvert I do like my own space) and the dawning reality that my marriage is truly over. From next weekend I may never sleep another night in this house and that is a weird feeling in itself.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “The beginning of the end

  1. I understand what you are going through, I too was the one who decided I could no longer stay under the same roof and had to leave. For me saying goodbye and letting go of my old life was really the beginning of something new for me. I also tried to set small goals and it really helped me. I wish you strength in what you are going through

    1. My problem is that I was living under Mother-in-Law’s roof. If my wife and I had had our own place, we would still be biding our time with regard to the divorce and one of us moving out until the right catalyst allowed that to happen. Because despite everything, we are getting on quite well in giving each other space and spending some limited time together.

      But MIL is pushy and needy and tends to tantrums and emotional blackmail. It is this that has forced my hand, leaving me with no other choice but to leave. It is sad that these events have tainted the last few weeks.

      1. I am so sorry, it must complicate everything across the board when you have a family member involved as well.

        1. Thank you for your concern.

          Yes, it was a problem throughout our marriage. Unfortunately my soon-to-be-ex-wife never saw how much of an obstacle her co-depenency with her mother was until the damage was already done.

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