Posted in Separation / Divorce

Finding my focus in “the year of me”

So, despite a minor hickup I’m finally moving into lodgings next weekend. Slightly daunting but I’ve done this before. When I was a mature student I rented a room with a family in a city I didn’t know.

Back then was a time of gains. I was looking to build a career, a successful life from the hard graft I would put in over the next three years (or five if I went on to do a Master’s – which I did in the end). Despite being quite the introvert, I made some good friends. Some I still see or communication with regularly and others I really don’t see as often as I could or should.

Now, I’m moving out under the context of having lost a life I knew and trying to pick up the pieces. Despite that I have had some horrific mood swings in the last few weeks (some amazing highs and some terrible lows sometimes in the same day) far from feeling low about this, at last I can see the positives. This is not the end of my life, it is an opportunity to go for it. It is a new start.

Soon enough, I will legally be a free man. Technically I have been free for quite some time but if somebody else comes into my life after here it will be without the complications and suspicions that normally go with men who claim they are getting a divorce.

Most of all, this move is going to give me the focus of worrying only about myself. I can concentrate fully on my self-esteem, really getting used to being on my own, to concentrate on my intended career, brushing up on those skills that I need to get there and all of the other things that I want to do. Most people might feel despair at a point like this but 90% of the time I’m seeing the positives.

What I need right now is focus and that is about to get a whole lot easier. I can do what I want, go where I want and when I want. I don’t have to answer to anybody or justify my actions or work around somebody else’s schedule. The place I’m moving to is ideal for me right now, more ideal than the place where I was beaten to the post.

Please continue to follow me on my journey.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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