Posted in Dating / Relationships

Dating sites

Conscious of the fact that I have made no friends in the area and most certainly not wanting to spend all of my evenings moping around my lodgings desperately hoping that somebody will offer me a job out of the area, the last couple of days I’ve finally taken the plunge and signed up for two dating sites (OKCupid and Plenty Of Fish)

I’m in no way ready for a relationship right now as I’m so focussed on personal development, building some confidence and fighting my self-esteem issues. But I do need human interaction, I need distractions from the daily humdrum and to get out and meet people. I could be living in this area for some time and the thought of seeing nobody but my colleagues and my landlady is not appealing (as much as I like them). Equally, the thought of spending all weekend in my own company all of the time and never interacting with another person will eventually get me down.

I do not want to descend into that misery and I realised I haven’t made any new friends in quite a few years. That needs to change. Though an introvert, I do not have a problem mixing with others and I do not give myself enough credit in how well I do mix sometimes. As much as I want to move out of this area, I have to make the best of it while I am here and accept the possibility that I’m not getting out as quickly as I want.

So far I have to say that I prefer OKCupid despite that there are far fewer people on there. The site is better looking and the searches more user friendly. However, the personality tests on POF are spot on and describe me and the sort of people I need in my life just perfectly. In both cases I have made it clear that I’m looking for nothing serious right now.

Any advice on using either site or online dating in general would be appreciated.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

2 thoughts on “Dating sites

  1. First let me say, nice site change. Second OKcupid is a great site, I met Gabe five years ago from that site and we are still together. Start by looking only for people to do things with, I found my Cincinnati movie group first before Gabe and had a blast.

    1. Thanks. The other was just a little too miserable for my liking.

      With regard to both sites, that is what I’m looking for and I’ve made it clear. My divorce is still pending and I don’t want to rush into anything. If the right person comes along and knocks my socks off, great!

      Thanks for the advice and I’m pleased OKCupid worked out for you!

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