Posted in Dating / Relationships

Taking the plunge 2

I said I would, and I did in what for me with my lack of confidence around women and my anxieties about personal interactions was probably the biggest plunge I could have taken. After talking to my dating site friend for three hours yesterday (keep in mind we only started talking Friday night) I asked if she would like to meet in person, for lunch or for a coffee chat, hoping that it wasn’t too presumptuous or too early.

She agreed but said she was nervous as it has all happened so quickly (she’s nervous? I’m nervous, I’ve never done anything like this before!) But I felt comfortable in asking because we’d hit it off so well and so quickly and barely stopped talking.

We met this morning for a coffee and a chat. We got on brilliantly and the conversation was most definitely two-way. We decided, as we are both cautious people who like and want to take things slowly, that we would not consider it a date but just as two online friends meeting for the first time and to go with the flow.

In the hour of getting ready I was as nervous as hell. But when she arrived we carried on as we had the afternoon before. She’s fun, friendly, sweet and bubbly. She is very attractive (though I’m not sure at this stage whether I actually fancy her). I made her laugh. She made me laugh. We talked about divorce, about running, about work, about aspirations, about personal development. It was all good. Will anything come of it? No idea. There didn’t seem to be any immediate chemistry but I know that it doesn’t always begin like that. We are both looking more for friends and people to spend time with.

I would like to see her again but right now we’re playing it very laid back. I’ve just received a message from her asking if we can meet up for lunch in a few weeks; she has also made it clear that she wants a friendship. This suits me for the reasons stated above. If anything comes of it, great. If not, no problem. I’m pleased to have made a new friend and who knows what the future will bring?

The best thing about this is that if nothing happens, I will not see it as a personal failure or as though there is something wrong with me (which is what I have done in the past).

I’ll keep you posted.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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