Posted in Dating / Relationships

Closure with “Miss X”

We’d not spoken for almost seven weeks. She’d ignored every single message I sent her and had refused to accept two apologies. Needless to say, I had no idea if we were even friends any more and equally had no idea why she was avoiding me at all.

But now I have closure. After sending her a message a few days ago asking her to explain and telling her that I can no longer take the silent treatment and wanting to understand why somebody who calls me her best friend one day and then avoids me for that length of time could even maintain a friendship, I received a response.

She felt that in view of her developing relationship with a man she told me was unsuitable for her, she felt she had to step back as it wasn’t fair on me or on her to maintain so much contact and have me cling to that hope. She also said that she felt she had already made it clear that we’d never be more than friends – I beg to differ especially in light of her pointing out why the new man in her life was unsuitable and how what she likes about me is the same list as what she does look for in a man.

In some ways, I feel shoved to one side now she has a boyfriend in tow and I think our friendship will never be the same again. I don’t want to be showered with attention when she’s single and put into the corner when she’s attached. I do feel that she has been leading me on and giving me false hope and yes, clearly flirting. As her friend, I will still be there for her but it will have to be reduced from what it was while I focus on getting my own life in order. I refuse to be a plaything purely for the ego massage.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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