Posted in Dating / Relationships

The talk

I wasn’t expecting to have to have this conversation this soon but circumstances are once again beyond my control.

Little Red is moving away… Only 20 miles away but it is to somewhere that she wants to settle. My intention was always to move farther away but in the opposite direction to be closer to my friends and family.

I think I am starting to have feelings for her. Not strong, but strong enough to wonder about the potential for a future relationship between us and the willingness to work on it if that feeling is mutual.

I know that I’m going to have to broach the subject over our dinner date to see how she feels. If she feels the same way then I can focus on settling in the area and finding work here. If not, then I can focus on moving away and accept that I have nothing more than a blossoming friendship and make the most of the time we have while I am here.

This is a very different situation from Miss X in many ways and I will be happy either way however she feels. I am attracted to her but I’m conscious that this is very early days in a fledgling friendship that could go anywhere and either way.

I am concerned only with the potential futures right now. I don’t feel I want a full-on relationship but do want to understand whether there is that possibility for us. For now, I would just like to continue seeing her and take it one day at a time.

Should I basically tell her just that?



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

2 thoughts on “The talk

  1. To answer your question, NO! Yes that you wish to continue seeing her, but not the last part. If you tell her the last part that will plant the seed of doubt and she might and most likely will withdraw. Be patient have the date then consider another before the dinner ends. If you can’t wait to see her again, before the dinner ends, then you should know your answer; but if not then break just friends to her gently.

    1. Yes, you’re right. I don’t want to put doubts in her mind before I know for certain what my own feelings are.

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