Posted in Dating / Relationships

Angels with machine guns

I stated last week that there are demons inside me filling me with self-doubt at the interest shown me by Little Red. That she has cancelled one dinner and one lunch date so far (for perfectly understandable reasons) has raised the spectres of self-doubt about whether she was having second thoughts or wondering “what the hell am I playing at?” believing that she can do better than me.

The demons cannot be allowed to win this war so I’ve called in the angels and given them machine guns.

Ahhh, he’ll do.

When I went to see my relationship therapist about my feelings for Miss X and how I could approach the situation when Mister Unsuitable came into her life, she suggested… no demanded… a list of attributes that would make me a good match for Miss X, pointing out that I fulfill what she has always said she wanted in a man “more than competently”. So I’m going to do just that for Little Red, I’m going to make myself think over the next few days what it is she might potentially see in me.


* Genuine. She has an important job in the centre of London so the sort of men she will be surrounded by most days are probably arrogant and money oriented, all talk of flash cars and making their first million. They want a gorgeous woman on their arm to show off temporarily before moving on. On the other hand I genuinely like her as a person. I admire her dedication and passion in life
* Attentive. I pay attention to her and always ask how things are going when she tells me about her life. I remembered what she had to drink on our first date and asked if she wanted the same for our second. I know when her birthday is and will not forget it (I never forget people’s birthdays). I take an interest in her as a person
* Humour. It should be difficult to make a woman laugh when she has such a finely tuned sense of humour but I know I make her laugh
* Thoughtful. When we get to our age (late 30s) the need for excitement gives way to the need for companionship. The companionship comes from feeling a strong life bond to a partner and that comes from an intellectual match, conversation and other things. I sometimes curse my own thoughtfulness but it is also my gift

Related to the three above things she told me that she enjoys my company.

* Aspirations. We are similarly qualified and have similar aspirations of a rewarding and meaningful career
* Stereo-types. At the end of the day, I don’t know that I’m not her type. She might prefer men who are strong willed but not particularly self assured. Because she is gorgeous and classy and intelligent and successful and very confident, it doesn’t mean that she would automatically go for convention of tall, dark and handsome, rich and successful, who drives a BMW and has a villa in the south of France.




I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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