Posted in Dating / Relationships

“Just” friends?

Why do we say “we’re just friends”? when it is between opposite sex friends?

The “just” part makes it seem as though the friendship is something to be endured, a poor second to a romance. Though unrequited love can be harrowing, friendship always should be celebrated. A strong friendship is noble and will normally endure the failed romances of both parties.

Friends pick you up after a break up. Friends stick by you. Friends fight your corner. You can laugh with friends and be yourself. Where there is no unrequited love, hormomes do not complicate things and a strong bond can develop that will endure.

“Just” friends?

I saw Miss Outdoors this past weekend. It was an “are you around tomorrow on the off chance?” arrangement. We had a walk around a Christmas market and went for a mulled wine afterwards. I really enjoyed seeing her again and having a meaningful conversation and a good laugh.

What struck me most was how much more relaxed this situation was. Partly because it was our second meet up, and therefore perhaps being just a little more used to each other, without all the caution and “sussing each other out” of being on a date, I feel we really got to know each other a lot more and opened up a little.

I think potentially a great friendship is blossoming and that is as good as having entered into a relationship. When I told some friends and family that I can see us being good friends some of the responses were “never mind”.

“Never mind”? I know we met on a dating site where we are both looking for love but is love, sex, a relationship the only possible outcome? Not for me and I am just as pleased to have made a new friend that I click with. I have written before about the importance of opposite sex friends. I still believe it.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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