Why do we say “we’re just friends”? when it is between opposite sex friends?
The “just” part makes it seem as though the friendship is something to be endured, a poor second to a romance. Though unrequited love can be harrowing, friendship always should be celebrated. A strong friendship is noble and will normally endure the failed romances of both parties.
Friends pick you up after a break up. Friends stick by you. Friends fight your corner. You can laugh with friends and be yourself. Where there is no unrequited love, hormomes do not complicate things and a strong bond can develop that will endure.
I saw Miss Outdoors this past weekend. It was an “are you around tomorrow on the off chance?” arrangement. We had a walk around a Christmas market and went for a mulled wine afterwards. I really enjoyed seeing her again and having a meaningful conversation and a good laugh.
What struck me most was how much more relaxed this situation was. Partly because it was our second meet up, and therefore perhaps being just a little more used to each other, without all the caution and “sussing each other out” of being on a date, I feel we really got to know each other a lot more and opened up a little.
I think potentially a great friendship is blossoming and that is as good as having entered into a relationship. When I told some friends and family that I can see us being good friends some of the responses were “never mind”.
“Never mind”? I know we met on a dating site where we are both looking for love but is love, sex, a relationship the only possible outcome? Not for me and I am just as pleased to have made a new friend that I click with. I have written before about the importance of opposite sex friends. I still believe it.