Posted in Dating / Relationships, Self Esteem, Separation / Divorce

Why do we give up so much of ourselves?

Following my date with l’Canadien, I had a sobering thought.

I mentioned that we had had a heated discussion during the date. It was over a difference of opinion on a certain book that I loved and she loathed. Though I agree with her on several points, I enjoyed it enough to have read it twice already – it is rare that I would do this and I told her so.

I defended the book as best I could even though it had been many years since reading it. Now she has strengthened my resolve to defend it further and I will read it again in the New Year. I emailed l’Canadien to tell her that I intend to do this and I look forward to a future debate.

My sobering thought? A year ago, I might have nodded at her scathing comments about my treasured book and disagreed rather apologetically without putting up any sort of defence. How much of a people pleaser had I become, and how little I had come to value my own opinions within any relationship? I had become so used to being talked all over and manipulated out of what I thought and wanted that there came a point where I thought “why bother even arguing?”… this eventually gave way to complete and total apathy in knowing my place was at the bottom of the pile – like an idiot I accepted it.

I refuse to be that person any more and to argue back against her fierce criticism of a book I love… it just brought a few things home about how I had been restricted or allowed myself to be restricted.

Fire in the belly? It’s burning bright right now.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “Why do we give up so much of ourselves?

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