Posted in Dating / Relationships

Dating – Lessons From Each Other

Okay so I feel I have been online dating long enough to feel qualified to say that there are lessons that men and women can learn from each other in the global meat market. Please indulge me and feel free to comment.

Lessons Men Can Learn From Women

1. Be More Picky. You might think that if you email every pretty face in a 50 mile radius you will end up getting the occasional date but this sort of behaviour fools nobody when you flood the system with the same email to 100 women. Ask yourself if you are what she’s looking for? More important, is she what you’re looking for?

2. Listen to their Dating Site Complaints. Clearly, no woman wants to see your chest, your penis or your car in your profile pics. Nd nbdy lyks txt spk eva!!!!

3. Leave some stuff to the imagination. Don’t give your whole life story but leave enough un-said that they will want to know more. Women seem better at this than men. Having moderated a few complaints on OKCupid, most of the male profiles I’ve seen read like biographies

Lessons Women Can Learn From Men

1. Be Less Picky. You might think that listing a set of demands makes you independent and headstrong but you come across as shallow, controlling and impossible to please. Similarly, you’re not going to find a millionaire Brad Pitt lookalike on POF so stop holding out for him. Pay attention to what is available

2. Read the Profile. If a man says he is looking for an educated and ambitious woman and you’re neither, then move along. If a man says he has no children and does not want them then I’m sorry single mothers but he is not going to be interested in you no matter how great your kid is

3. Humour. We know you like a man who makes you laugh, I’ve yet to see a profile fron a woman who doesn’t like a man with a sense of humour. But guess what? We want you to make us laugh too. And as women traditionally haven’t needed humour in the dating game, women who can make men laugh will stand out above everyone else.

4. Detail. If men can be accused of putting too much detail then women can sometimes be accused of not putting enough. Putting “I like going out, staying in, takeaways, red wine! Ask me if you want to know more!!” is just damned lazy.

Any more? The floor is open to both sides…



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

6 thoughts on “Dating – Lessons From Each Other

    1. “Show don’t tell” and all that! Yes, so many profiles inform us how funny they are but I want to see it. I want to see tongue in cheek responses to some of the questions. Play the profile for laughs so I can see that you are funny. Of the six women I have met up with, two of them emphasised their sense of humour and it came across in both of their profiles.

      1. lucky you! i’ve only met one guy who played the profile for laughs! but then i live in northern michigan where the speed of thought is a little slow.

        1. Haha! I’m from England. I guess we’re a nation who laughs at ourselves as often as we laugh at the rest of the world.

          I like to think my profiles strike a balance between being informative and demonstrating my sense of humour. I don’t think what somebody does for a living is important so I always have a funny response to put in the job section. So far my jobs have been (according to my POF profile)
          * Measuring the holes in ring doughnuts
          * Counting perforations in teabags
          * Tasting and grading flavour and chewability of biro tops

          And a couple of others I can’t remember

            1. Don’t seem to be able to access it. You’ve given me the admin link in your dashboard it appears?

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