I was at a house party on New Year’s Eve and feeling rather philosophical. Loud music, excited children and drunk people rarely mix with prolonged periods of self-reflection but I went anyway. The alternative was spending it alone and I was pretty sure I did not want to do that.
As Big Ben struck midnight a wave of what can only be described as euphoria passed over me. It took effort to stop floods of tears of relief that another tough year was over but there was also genuine hope. 12 months previously, the tears did fall down my face and I told myself “2012 has to be better than 2011”.
Instead, after the fireworks from London faded I went into the garden alone. It was a mild and clear night and I could see Orion.
I looked up and said something along these lines:
“I’m still here. I stood on the edge of a cliff and I walked away. You know that every time you’ve knocked me down I’ve got up again. I’m going to keep getting up. Do your worst 2013 – I’m ready for you.”
I hope Orion didn’t believe I was holding him personally responsible for the ill fortune of last few years of my life but he provided a convenient focal point that night.
I think I’m ready to come off the anti-depressants now, I have an appointment on Monday with my Doctor.
So come on 2013, do your worst… I’m waiting.