Posted in Mental Health, Separation / Divorce

Time to go…

There comes a point in your life that you realise there is a thorn in your side. There is one thing holding you back and you know it is like a house of cards. When this one small detail changes, everything will change and it will undoubtedly be for the better.

There comes a point in your life when you realise that this thorn in your side is no longer a thorn.

It is a cancer.

It becomes a cancer when we realise we are treading a fine line between our journey of recovery and another bout of depression. Cancer cannot be allowed to fester. It cannot be ignored. There is only one thing we can do with a cancer.

Cut it out.

My poorly paid, non-graduate job is a cancer and it has to go. I can no longer keep applying for jobs and not getting them; doing this only aided my latest bout of depression last year and now I realise that I need to walk away for the sake of my mental health.

I am in a better position for doing so than I was before. Regular readers know I have a second job – and this is freelance work. I need to spend time investigating how viable this is as a full time career option. I am loving what I am doing and it seems ridiculous that I’m doing something I hate 40hrs a week and something I love 8hrs a week.

And I need to set a time limit. It isn’t enough any more to say that I will get out soon and hope each job application is “The One”. I need to have a cut off date where everything will change, where I walk away for good and make it happen. But I need to do it knowing what I face.

I am giving myself ten weeks. End of April, I walk away with the intention of heading home. I should be divorced by then. I’m going back to what I know and a new life.

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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