Little Red has cancelled our much promised lunch for this weekend as the new boyfriend has a weekend away planned for them.
I wished her the best of luck, informed her of my desire to leave the area and put it into her hands for whether we meet before I leave. I will not ask again bearing in mind my decision to move 70 miles away and the acceptance that our lives are now moving in different directions. I’m slowly piecing together my new life, setting in place potential job options with my freelance work at the centre.
Of course at the back of my mind remains Ubergeek. Let me make it clear that I am not going to wait for her; if somebody else comes along in the meantime with whom I feel a connection, I will grab the opportunity with both hands. Of course I feel we have unresolved business right now and I would like to see her before I leave – however this is purely symbolic to figure out if and what part we could play in each other’s futures.
Driving time from my hometown to hers is 45 minutes and it is en route from where I am now, I pass through her town on my journey home.
I have been advised by friends to leave it a few more weeks before contacting her – and I agree that this is the right course of action while I am still feeling a little confused. It is hard and I want to communicate with her but right now I feel I shouldn’t… we have both insisted that we want to keep in touch but I’m not sure what I should do right now. Or perhaps I am just stressing about it too much… again.
For now I just want to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and that is getting out of where I am. Love life can wait.
I am going to see my therapist tonight to discuss all of these things as well as my trust issues.