Posted in Dating / Relationships

All About the Chemistry

How Love Works at “How Stuff Works” website

The feeling of meeting somebody who totally gets you and totally accepts you; that feeling of meeting somebody entirely on your wavelength is a comforting feeling. It is also very addictive as I’m only just beginning to discover.

I’d never felt that connection with anybody before; I didn’t even get it with my ex-wife. This is a whole new experience for me which is why I am finding it difficult to let go. It has been a month now since I last had any contact from Ubergeek and earlier today I sent her a text message: Hi [name]. How are you? x

She insisted that she wants to stay in touch. She called me “a really lovely guy” that she “has been delighted to spend time with”. I’m testing the water to find out whether contact really is welcome. And I felt I had to do it for my own peace of mind. I do not want to come between her and the guy she’s has just got back together with but I did want to make it clear that I meant it when I said I wanted to stay in touch and of course, to let her know that at present my door is still open.

Of course I’m nervous about what the response might be – and for me the worst response would be total and utter silence. I am messaging other women on the dating sites so keeping my options open, but nobody around here. I am now specifically looking at options back home but I can’t shake the feeling that Ubergeek‘s part in my life is not yet at an end. Of course, I would prefer that she was, so that I could fully move on when I return home but that isn’t how life plays out sometimes. If she felt the connection as much as I did (and the evidence seems to suggest so) then in my therapist’s words “she is bound to be thinking of me”. Knowing that we had that connection makes it especially hard. If it had been any of the other women I’d been out with telling me they’d got back with an ex I would have just shrugged and wished them the best of luck (this is exactly what I did with Little Red).

Yes, chemistry is addictive.

I’ll keep you posted on what happens next (if anything).

27/2/13 update: We have contact. Traded several text messages today.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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