Posted in Dating / Relationships

spark.com Colour Code Test

Anybody on spark.com? Ever on the look out to find new and unusual dating sites, I came across this one that advertised it’s colour code test. I came up 50% blue. Here is what that means:

BLUES are:

Analytical
Committed
Compassionate
Dedicated
Deliberate
Dependable
Emotional
Loyal
Nurturing
Quality-seeking
Respectful
Sincere
Thoughtful
Well-mannered

Congratulations, you are a BLUE personality. The Core Motivation that drives you through life is “intimacy.” It is important to note that this does not mean sexual intimacy. BLUES need connection – the sharing of rich, deep emotions that bind people together. As a BLUE, you will often sacrifice a great deal of time, effort, and/or personal convenience to develop and maintain meaningful relationships throughout your life.

BLUES seek opportunities to genuinely connect with others, and need to be understood and appreciated. Everything you do as a BLUE has to be quality-based, or you won’t do it at all. You are incredibly loyal to friends, employers, employees, and above all to your spouse. Whatever or whomever you commit to is your sole (and soul) focus. As a BLUE, you love to serve and will give freely of yourself in order to nurture the lives of others.

BLUES have distinct preferences and are the most controlling of the four personalities, although they may not acknowledge (or even realize) the fact. Your code of ethics is remarkably strong and you expect others to live honest, committed lives as well. You enjoy sharing meaningful moments in conversation with your partner, as well as remembering special life events (e.g., birthdays and anniversaries).

The selfless nature of Blues enables them to make their significant other feel consummately important. They always put their partner first with thoughtful consideration that the rest of us can only envy.

Blues have both the ability and desire to open up their heart and give all that they have. The companion of a Blue can feel secure knowing a Blue will hold nothing back. They don’t make commitments lightly and you can be sure they will follow through.

You are a first-class act.
You think of others before yourself.
You give your whole heart and express your emotions honestly.
You are always dependable.

Blues have very high standards that can easily lead to unrealistic expectations. Dating them can be a challenge because it is hard to live up to their exacting standards. Blues also tend to be overly guilt-prone and worry about a wide expanse of potential problems. It can cause them to be too serious minded and unable to relax. One other struggle Blues face is forgiving others. Since they feel so deeply, when they are wronged or betrayed, they can remember the offense for a lifetime.

  • You tend to think you are on a mission to save the world.
  • You think whining is a good thing and forgiveness is not.
  • Your mysterious mood swings drive the rest of us crazy.
  • You can be overly sensitive.

Now that you know how others see you, you should also know that there are certain things that you subconsciously need from your relationships in order to feel fulfilled and happy. These are your very own little happy buttons. When you find people who can push them for you, you will have relationships that you treasure.

You Need Others to Understand You

As a BLUE, driven by intimacy, you seek deep, personal connections with others. That doesn’t just mean that you want to understand everything about them. You wouldn’t feel that your relationship was complete unless they understood you completely either. You should look for others who can move beyond superficial conversation and are willing to understand every bit about what makes you you.

You Need to Feel Appreciated By Others

You love to give openly and always go the extra mile to please others. All you desire in return is that they appreciate the effort that you make to do what you do. You will be happiest in finding someone who is comfortable and open in expressing that appreciation and who doesn’t take your 110% effort for granted.

You Need to Be Good Morally

You have a personal code of ethics that you believe in and a very real sense of right and wrong that you take very seriously. In fact, BLUES have the strongest sense of integrity of all of the Colors (for example, you would rather lose when playing a game than cheat). You need people who support you in your beliefs, and ideally, would like others to follow the same guidelines and have the same commitment to integrity that you do.

You Need General Acceptance

As a BLUE, you really do care about other people and what they think of you. The BLUE personality is the only of the four Colors that is dependent on others to fulfill their Core Motive of intimacy, which requires human interaction. Therefore, other people’s opinions (and especially those of your circle of friends and family) really do mean something to you, so you want to feel comfortable and accepted by them.

You Want Security

You like stability and security in your relationships and in life in general. You want others who communicate in word and deed so that you always feel on stable ground in those relationships. You also want someone who will establish a solid (and safe) relationship with you and not force you to take high stakes risks, although, I would recommend that you be open-minded in this area, because some risks will really do wonders to enhance the quality of your life.

You Want Autonomy

It almost seems paradoxical, because while you do seek meaningful relationships in your life, and enjoy the company of others, you also enjoy your independence to do what you like to do. This is true for most BLUES because you spend so much time caring for others, connecting with them, and worrying about making things perfect, that you like to have your free time not to have to worry about those things.

You Want Quality in All Aspects of Your Life

Your high standards of quality are important to you. You don’t like things that are tacky, ill-planned, or impersonal. You like things that are done right and done well. It is important that you find people who support this instinct of yours and can appreciate the way that it enhances both of your lives.

You Want To Reveal Insecurities

In your effort to connect with your partner and others, you will often feel the desire to reveal yourself and your insecurities and inadequacies. To you, being vulnerable is a small price to pay for the chance to connect emotionally. You also do this in hopes that others will be as equally open and revealing. Remember, you are driven by intimacy, so look for someone who can share with you on a deep level.

I don’t agree with all of it but it is pretty bang on. I don’t consider myself a whiner or manipulative but I do seek an emotional attachment and expect (perhaps unrealistically sometimes) for others to invest as much emotional time. Not sure if that makes me controlling as the test suggests.

Where forgiveness is concerned, I do not hold grudges but I do expect others to acknowledge that what they did was wrong before I can truly forgive them. If they do not, or will not, I tend to emotionally detach myself in part or in full from them (incidentally, this is how I have reacted to Miss X is recent months).

Anyybody else taken this test? How accurate was it for you?

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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