Posted in Dating / Relationships

Dating update – when “nice” isn’t enough

The dates have been rolling in without much effort from me and I’m convinced that it is because I have changed my relationship status from “separated” to “divorced” on the dating sites. I neglected to mention that I had a date in a town nearby about ten days ago. This girl approached me. She ticked all the right boxes and we met for a quiet drink. She was nice but did not float my boat.

I had another date this morning. Again, she is nice but didn’t seem to tick many of my boxes beyond being sweet and friendly. And both of these girls have entrenched me further into finding precisely what I am looking for. “Nice” is great but it is not enough.

I’m not saying I don’t like nice girls because I do, very much so. Give me a nice girl over a bad girl 9999/10,000 unless the bad girl is on my wavelength in the right ways and intelligent, geeky, funny girls are rarely bitches. Every girl I have met has been nice. Ubergeek, water baby, chatterbox and miss outdoors especially have been some of the sweetest and nicest girls I have ever met in my life and I hope I can continue to attract people like them.

But nice is not enough. When nice has nothing else going for it nice can seem insipid and lacking in substance.

I want an educated woman with character who knows what she wants from life.

I want a woman who will defend me to the death when I am right and tell me when I am wrong and why I am wrong.

I want a woman who is always looking forward to life’s next challenge.

I want a woman who will have me in tears of laughter.

I want a woman who has known pain and is stronger, better and more well-rounded for it.

I want a woman who knows the meaning of “carpe diem”.

Nice is great. Nice is very desirable. Nice makes me feel warm inside but on its own, it isn’t enough.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

6 thoughts on “Dating update – when “nice” isn’t enough

    1. Oh I know… the butterflies feeling is my benchmark. Looking forward to the next time I get them. Must be due soon!

  1. Same for women, ‘nice’ just doesn’t always cut it. Of course women want to be treated well, but there has to be something more for us to be attracted to you and stick around.

    1. Absolutely. There’s so much that needs to fall into place. Being a “nice girl” or a “nice guy” (the true meaning not the ones you rail against, lol) just isn’t enough.

    1. Hmmm, no I haven’t mostly because I don’t want to get too bogged down writing about dating. And I’m sure there are far more accomplished lifestyle bloggers out there!

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