Posted in Dating / Relationships

Is this what we call “Dating Fatigue”?

I need to take a break from dating before I become disillusioned with the whole process. A few days ago, Bossy Moxie commented that I seem to have had a lot of success with it. She’s not wrong but I haven’t found what I’m really after and that’s a relationship. I’m a relationship sort of a guy, always have been and there is a certain amount of fatigue when you are seemingly going on an endless stream of first dates in such a short space of time.

Since I returned home five weeks ago I have met four new people. Two of whom I had no further contact with after the first date and the other two I saw twice before they both decided it wasn’t working. I had the bizarre situation with Mischief in claiming we had no chemistry when it appeared that we did. Bookworm hit the nail on the head about being nothing there beyond having lots of stuff in common and I agreed. We  have chosen to develop a friendship and I am more than happy with this.

For somebody who is an introvert and still fighting low self-esteem, though these events have not been emotionally draining, it has taken a certain amount out of me at a time in my life when everything else still feels up in the air. And when I am being asked lots of questions by friends and family about what happened with Mischief and still getting those questions and comments about Ubergeek (practically everybody thinks we’ll get together one day – reminding me that when exes get back together it rarely lasts. Lovely thoughts, but utterly unhelpful and frustrating when I am being gently told not to forget about her). Dating is becoming a chore and I don’t want to lose the sense of excitement and fun. To avoid that slipping into disillusionment and emotional exhaustion, I’m putting the brakes on.

Part of this is my fault I know. Two of the women I have met in the last month haven’t really been my type. Primarily I look for an intellectual match, somebody intelligent and thoughtful with ideas about where her life is going and who has a great sense of humour. The other two had none of those things. Mischief had all of those attributes, Bookworm has everything except the humour.

So I’m taking a break. Any seasoned online daters have any words of advice, now would be the time to speak up 🙂

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “Is this what we call “Dating Fatigue”?

  1. Dating can be exhausting. At one point, I was just dating for the stories, as I’d all but given up on meeting someone. Then I met him. It shouldn’t be stressful though, just have fun with it :)!

    1. Thanks. I’m determined to take a break though – even if it is just to take a few weeks to recharge my enthusiasm batteries

  2. I think a break is always good, but you’ve had some pretty decent dates though! I’ve heard many a horror story and you seemed to have avoid it. Maybe focus more on the journey instead of the endgame? (Although I hate when people tell me that ish! I want what I want now! lol)

    1. I know, I can’t complain really. I think I just need a break because May seemed like a month of endless dates. I had six in that 4 1/2 weeks and it was starting to feel like a conveyor belt.

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