A seemingly random series of events have placed me where I am today. I am a little bit of a science geek as well as a deeply thoughtful introvert. This leads me to considering my situation from a highly imaginative perspective and seemingly unrelated events. I also tend to extrapolate toward possible futures based on the decisions I’ve made.
Moving out last summer permitted me to start online dating. It was only to be a temporary arrangement and dating was purely to make friends and build confidence ahead of relocation.
I had no real connection until…
…In January I met ubergeek. Things seemed to be going so well at such an early stage I considered that I would be staying in the area a little while longer.
Looking forward what might have happened? Would we date for a few months and tentatively decide to look for a place? Would she invite me to move in with her parents while I got back on my feet?
Either way, I was staying… until…
She got back with her ex. Shock led to a mild dip in my mood.
But the dip in my mood made me re-evaluate my situation. I’m stuck here. I have no reason to stay.
Within a matter of days of Ubergeek’s revelation I’d taken the decision to walk away from the job and the area.
Yet I could not have done this without the confidence to do it. The confidence to do it had come from online dating. Oddly then, had I not started online dating I might still be there.
Meeting her, that happiness I felt at clicking with somebody and then having it taken away now seems, on reflection the perfect catalyst.
The butterfly effect.
And she gave me butterflies
Had we not had a connection I might still be there.
Had we got together I would certainly still be there.
Had I got together with somebody else (Little Red for example) I would still be there.
Or, had a series of unsuccessful dates in which I never met ubergeek, would I have made the decision I made then?
Only through this series of events could I have taken that step to go through the life changes I am experiencing now. Everything I have done has led me to the position I am in now.
One small change in that series of events could mean I’m still in the area I married into and in the job I desperately needed to leave.
And then I start to think that this is entropy: events leading toward order from seeming disorder. Now I know where I am and what I want to do having left a position of chaos.
The world is chaos. Sometimes it is important to remember not just where we are but how we got here.