Posted in Dating / Relationships

Dating: The Small Things that Matter

Something occurred to me this week as I looked through profiles of some women to contact in the coming weeks. I was forced to confront how important alcohol is as part of a social experience for me. Why? Because whenever I see on a profile that somebody is teetotal, it makes me hesitate in contacting them almost as much as if they were a heavy drinker.

Though I am not and have never been a heavy drinker, and feel I could go without alcohol for extended periods without noticing, I do like the occasional beer to sip on these hot summer afternoons/evenings, or a bottle of wine with a loved one on a Friday night to see us into the weekend.

Most of my dates have been drinkers and some have had very good taste in beer; some have considered themselves beer connoisseurs (l’Canadien, Miss Outdoors and Ubergeek) and each time that has been a big plus in their favour. It is actually quite interesting what you can learn about somebody when listening to their drinking preferences: how often, what they like and what they would never touch.

Drinking is, and despite what the media might say, still a very social activity. I see a cosy pub date as something quite intimate, sharing a bottle of wine or commenting on each other’s beer choices an important part of getting to know each other. In some ways perhaps we even make assumptions about a person based on what it is they are drinking. It’s probably not right to do but I would probably be less inclined to date a woman who drank Fosters or Carling than I would a teetotaler; someone who shared a love for my favourite beers would definitely have kudos in my eyes. I’ve actually had lengthy conversations about favourite beers with all three of the women above and thoroughly enjoyed that aspect of the conversation!

Many dating websites warn you off the alcohol but if you like good beer and have no more than a couple of pints each, enjoy and it becomes part of the conversation, I don’t see a problem.

What do you think? Is alcohol important to you when dating? How important and in what ways? If you drink would you date a teetotaler? or if you were teetotal would you date a drinker? Why or why not?

I’m interested to get perspectives here from all over the globe.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

7 thoughts on “Dating: The Small Things that Matter

  1. I have dated in awhile, but I’m all for drinking. I’m not a huge drinker but I think a few drinks with friends or loved ones is great! As long as no one is getting trashed it’s all good. I couldn’t date a drunk but I could live with someone who doesn’t drink as long as they don’t care if I do.

    1. That’s exactly how I feel. I’m always concerned that there is little middle ground with those who abstain from certain things and to me, being able to share a bottle of wine as part of a romantic evening is important.

      1. I agree. I much prefer people who are able to maintain a happy medium when it comes to drinking. I don’t care for getting drunk or being around people who are drunk all the time. And people who don’t drink at all.. if they don’t judge people who do drink I can live with it. I prefer the happy medium (enjoying but not over-indulging) people. (I feel like I just repeated what I already said. If I did SORRY)

        1. haha, no problem. I prefer to see it as clarification rather than repetition πŸ™‚

  2. Another blogger mentioned this (booze compatibility) in a recent post as well! I don’t care as long as they’re okay with me getting my drink on. But then again, I’m not a wine connoisseur or anything, I’m purely in it for the buzz.

    1. lol! Date a European guy because they certainly don’t mind. They might turn their nose up at you choosing the wrong type of beer/wine but that’s about it πŸ™‚

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