Posted in Dating / Relationships

What’s In a Picture?

So… yes I know my posts here are sparse at the moment and I genuinely have no reason for it. Work is going ok, I have no more or less than I did a few weeks ago when I last posted. Generally, I don’t have much to say and I know I should be filling in the gaps with mental health posts – particularly those about my CBT course. I just haven’t found the time or inclination to do it yet so a million apologies.

So, last time I posted I made reference to a new photograph of myself that I had put up on the dating sites and how the attention I was getting had skyrocketed. That hasn’t dropped off and I’ve been approached by women three or four times this week. I really don’t get it. I’m not particularly good looking, I’m still a little on the podgy side (though clearly I have lost a LOT of weight) and I certainly don’t think I look particularly hot in this picture. Seemingly, an increasing number of people of the female persuasion are disagreeing!

Anyway, before my head explodes – I will be meeting a woman this Saturday for a coffee date. She approached me. In fact, of all the women I’m talking to at the moment there is only one that I approached and that is Mirror Image. I don’t see things going anywhere there, personally. We have the potential to be good friends and I do find her very attractive. But she has suggested that she feels the age gap is intensified because I have been married. Let me be frank about this – she is 32 years old, has had one relationship and is a virgin. Naturally, she feels we are worlds apart in the dating game. This is not a problem for me but I am prepared to stand back while it is clearly uncomfortable to her. Nevertheless, we still intend to meet in December though whether that is as a date or just as long distance friends meeting for the first time will undoubtedly be decided closer to Christmas.

So, this weekend I have a date – my first since the pity date with Miss Give-Me-a-Chance. This girl is really cool, funny, interesting and we have a similar dry sense of humour. I think we’re going to get on really well and I’m expecting to like her quite a lot as a person. I’m going to call her Indie Chick, a name that I guess doesn’t warrant explanation.

Aside from that, I have new running shoes ahead of my first 10k in about six weeks but haven’t been running in a fortnight due to illness – I hate it. I want to get out and pound the pavements! grrrrrr!

I’ll keep you up to date and try to be better about it.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “What’s In a Picture?

  1. first; ” Iā€™m not particularly good looking,”
    STOP THAT!!!!
    Sometimes it’s not good to think about things, just roll with it and enjoy!

    1. I consider myself scolded then! šŸ˜€

      My looks are never going to get me through life… but I do know what my strengths are. I’m open, honest, interested in people and I have a great sense of humour. I’ve had most of my dates laughing – some in tears of laughter and I feel that is part of how I naturally put people at ease.

  2. second: “But she has suggested that she feels the age gap is intensified because I have been married.”
    This makes no sense. It sounds like an excuse. She definitely has intimacy issues. She feels comfortable with the way things already are with you two.
    I think it’s good for you to think of it as a possible date, possible just long distance friends meeting for the first time.
    Again, glad you are seeing other women.

    1. It sounds like an excuse.

      Yes it is – especially as we are both in our thirties. I think she wants to feel in control and having a man who is more experienced than her will take away some of that control. I think she wants an unreasonable level of equality in her relationships. We’ve talked about it and I’ve tried to reassure her that anybody she meets will not be bothered that she lacks that experience.

      Personally, I think she has a lot of soul-searching to do. I’ve been drawn to complicated women a lot… I’m not sure I want to do it any more. I don’t want to feel I’m dating somebody who is emotionally quite like a child. So, keeping an open mind until I meet her.

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