Posted in Dating / Relationships, Self Esteem

“What’s Wrong With Me?” Revisited

Regular commenter Bossy Moxie commented on the previous post I did on the subject here stating something that is obvious to everyone (including me now) :

I think the only thing that’s wrong with you is that you think that there’s something wrong with you.

Bingo. It is true that I no longer feel I have something seriously wrong with me… or at least my self-doubt is now at an acceptable and normal level but still, there is a twinge of self-doubt and it has come to light because of recent events.

Sadly, I look nothing like him.

I must confess to being bemused at receiving so much attention now on the dating sites. I started online dating in August 2012 and in the last month, I have been approached by women more times than all of the previous 12 months put together. What has changed? Well, not much aside from a new main picture (Sorry, I’m not going to post it here!). My profile still has a succinct summary about me, it still has humour, self-deprecation and open-ended questions that have served me well so far.

You’re right… I cannot get my head around this new level of attention and last night, I was approached by another very high match on OKCupid. This girl was on my “To Contact” list so it was a pleasant surprise that she pre-empted me first. And it isn’t as though any of the women who have approached me first have been unsuitable… certainly I get my fair share of those with whom I have nothing in common, but most of those making first contact with me are the sort of people I am interested in.

Edit: She’s deleted her account without passing on contact information. She hinted she’d recently come out of a relationship so I guess she decided she didn’t want to do the online dating thing for the time being – a shame as we had lots of stuff in common.

So far, I have had to work hard to pursue the women who interest me and I have never been the sort of guy that women chase… ever! I genuinely don’t get it but I am enjoying it for the first time in my life.

I guess it is a tough nut to crack when you have spent so many years of your life believing that at best you were “nothing special” and at worst, physically repulsive. But I’m getting there and this is perhaps a test of that.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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