Posted in Dating / Relationships

Back to that Female Competitive Streak

You probably don’t remember the conversation I had with my previous landlady regarding Little Red and Miss X. If not, go back and read her theory on how women get competitive when it comes to men. Well guess what? I definitely saw some of this last week.

Some of you may remember Bookworm whom I went out on a couple of dates with around the same time as Mischief. After two dates it was pretty clear that there wasn’t much attraction there though clearly a potential friendship. We elected to stay friends and meet up from time to time.

I didn’t fancy her then (and truth be told that dating fatigue was already set in) and she showed no sign of fancying me either. In subsequent conversations we both agreed that neither of us were in the right frame of mind for dating at the time.

Anyway, last week I met Bookworm for the first time in almost 3 months. The tone was friendly, we talked a lot and discussed our dating exploits. Though I feel open to the possibility of dating her again in the future, it isn’t even a remote possibility right now. She is a friend and that is that.

That doesn’t seem to be how Mirror Image viewed me meeting this friend for coffee. Her messages instantly became more flirty than they had before, making reference to “dragging me back to her cave” and also commented that she didn’t know I had a kinky side merely because I gave her permission to slap me over spoiling a TV show that we both like (when she hadn’t seen a recent episode). What a contrast from the obstacles she was putting up when we first started talking! Still conscious of the fact that I have an upcoming third date with Indiechick, I’m guessing she didn’t want to be forgotten.

I was reminded of my conversation with the landlady then and had to chuckle. I’ve had a bucket load of new subscribers in the year since that post so ladies this is for you again… are you competitive when it comes to men? Does a man’s potential dateability increase when you think you might have competition?



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

8 thoughts on “Back to that Female Competitive Streak

  1. I’m not a competitive person so I think I’d just back off if I thought there was a lot of interest in someone – possibly missing out in the process! But I do agree that there are women who would get excited for a man because he is appealing to other women. It’s all to do with primal instincts. So you are giving off some serious alpha male pheromones there. Enjoy it! πŸ˜‰

    1. I’m about as far from alpha male as it gets! It is amusing though, I just never expected it from this girl.

  2. I’m not at all competitive in the romance field. In fact, if I see that a guy is interested in another woman I tend to lose interest. I want to be someone’s special girl and if that’s not happening then I step aside.

    1. It was unusual because this was a friend I was meeting (though we did meet on POF). Considering she didn’t get competitive with somebody else I have been dating, I found it a little odd too. Clearly, she perceived bookworm to be more of a threat romantically than Indiechick (who I have been dating)!

  3. Hmmmm I would love to say I understand women, (being one and all that) but women are as much of a mystery to me as men sometimes!

    1. πŸ˜€ If women don’t understand women, how can you expect men to? haha

  4. I wouldn’t say they are competitive, as much as when they see other women circling a man they are kind of interested in, then the guy becomes more attractive to her. i think it has more to do with self esteem or her doubting her initial judgement. Pick up artists call it social proofing, showing the woman you actually want that you are wanted by others. It’s also why some people advise you put up a picture of you with a few girls in the picture. It also least he girl know that you’re not weird or something since other women like hanging out with you.

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