Posted in Dating / Relationships

So I Got a Card This Year

Despite being a hopeless romantic, Valentine’s Day has never really been a big point for me – mostly because I’ve spent more of them single than not-single. Nor am I overly mushy. No, I guess my romantic side is in how tactile I am, affectionate, caring and thoughtful. Grand, sweeping (unimaginative) gestures have never been my thing.

When I was with my ex, occasionally we went out for a meal but ultimately felt underwhelmed by the “Valentine Specials”. When we were students we couldn’t afford to go out so took some enjoyment from watching the least romantic films we presently had on our shelf – it was usually a horror film though. I seem to remember our Valentine’s movie being Alien one year. Hey, it was the extended version on the quadrilogy boxset!

I spent the last two years with just me, a bottle of wine or beer and a film of my choice. I think I spent last year’s Valentine’s Day with Katniss Everdeen after moping around not having a date with Ubergeek. The year before that it might have been Andrew Lincoln dismembering zombies. Oh yes, them was some romantic “me” nights as the blood flew everywhere!

But this year is different. Though not in a relationship, I am not technically single either. I am dating somebody long distance with a mutual agreement that we won’t see anybody else until we figure out how we feel about each other. Our second “date” is next week when I travel to see Mirror Image for a couple of days. Hopefully by the end we will have a a clearer idea of where we are and where we are going.

All the signs are there though, she got jealous when I mentioned meeting up with Indiechick – the situation that led to us making firm plans to meet again soon. I have confessed to finding her very attractive and some of our phone, skype and email conversations have been quite flirty. All we really need is that next step.

I guess we have taken half a step in sending Valentine’s Cards to each other. The message she wrote in mine was similar to that which I put in hers – “I think you’re great and can’t wait to see you again, lots of love…” Cautious, but effective – not too strong but not devoid of feelings either. It’s complicated mostly because of the distance and the length of time we have been speaking for only one date. I got a warm fuzzy glow when it arrived and a warm fuzzy glow when I opened it this morning too (well, after midnight last night but who is watching?) indicative of the beginning of any dating / relationship scenario. It’s pretty plain sailing right now and I’ve not much else to report.

For me Valentine’s Day is about “us time” and nothing more – having a nice relaxing evening in each other’s company and talking into the small hours. Everything else just feels like commercialised window dressing. So we got an Indian takeaway and watched Alien – so long as it is what people want to do then why the hell not?

Me? I have a Skype date tonight 🙂 Whether you’re single or taken, have a good day whatever you decide to do (or not do!) For those who are single, take comfort in Maroon 5



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “So I Got a Card This Year

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