Skype is a regular method of communication between Mirror Image and myself. We Skype about once a week, finding it easier than the phone and more diverse and immediate than emails. She doesn’t like phone communication (she actually has a phone phobia and prefers video chatting to voice-only communication).
About a week ago, we got talking about patience – specifically mine. It must be playing on her mind that I simply ran out of patience in the end with Indiechick, having got nothing back from her from my advances (nothing too intense, just some mild flirting and making my interest clear). I have also hinted that I only have so much patience with people dithering. Partly aimed at Mirror Image and partly as a general point, I told her that if I feel I am getting nothing back from a date then I will move on.
Of course I have made my feelings clear – I really want to consider us an item – in many ways it feels we are, we’re just lacking the titles “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”. Despite her actions, despite seemingly being into me, in being jealous of Indiechick, the kissing, the hand-holding, the snuggling and not forgetting that we got naked and very intimate on our second date, she still says that she isn’t entirely sure how she feels. The only thing missing is the spark – the butterflies. I do not make her pulse race and she is worried that it will only be a matter of time before she sees me purely as a friend. I find this statement odd, I don’t believe that this will happen and have said so, but I have also said that I can wait while she figures out what she feels… up to a point. The question I have to ask myself is:
Just how much patience do I have?
It’s something I have been mulling over this week. Next weekend, she is coming to stay with me. We will spend five days together and I would hope in that five days, her feelings will become clear. If at the end she is still saying she doesn’t know how she feels then I think my patience (and consequently my interest) will start to slip away. I don’t want to pressure her of course, but I don’t want to feel I am being strung along and kept off the market for the sake of it when around the corner might be somebody who will set my heart racing, and likewise, I will set hers racing. I made a genuine offer to Mirror Image not to see anybody else while she figured it out and that was over months ago now. I think this is long enough – or it will be in 12 days time when she is heading home.
Yes I like her. Yes I fancy her. Yes I want to be with her. I can’t wait again to feel her lips against mine, her hand in mine, to feel her head on my shoulder… but I have no desire to remain on that hook forever.
Has anybody else been in this situation? I know long distance relationships require patience and taking things slowly and there is little about it that is normal, but is there such thing as too patient? Too slow?