Posted in Mental Health

What Easter Has Come to Mean For Me

Now, I’m not religious at all so the spiritual meaning that many people put into Easter – whether it is the Christian ideal of death and rebirth, or the pagan celebration of the birth of spring, has never held the same personal meaning that – say – Christmas has always and continues to have for me. Christmas to me is about reflecting on the end of the year and waiting for what the new one will bring. Easter always meant chocolate, warmer weather and looking forward to summer.

wikimedia.org

Yet the last few Easters have been significant to some big changes in my life. Three years ago, it was just before Easter that my then wife confessed to no longer having feelings for me. I would later find out, though not for another six weeks, about her online affair. Easter then was the beginning of the end of our marriage and it was the beginning of what would be the worst 18 months of my life.

The following Easter our marriage was over and we were starting the process of filing for divorce. I was also considering my options about the future, was struggling to get work and getting anxious about how long it would take me to make that break. I was also nervous and excited to be meeting Miss X for the very first time – having never met her for all the years we’d known each other and harbouring feelings for this long-term friend.

Easter last year was the time I walked away from my previous job, returned home and set up in business. Ten years away and I was back home – another change of life. My divorce also finalised during the spring. This was the beginning of all the changes I was going through and was to go through over the following months.

And now, here I am this Easter and work appears to be taking off. I finally know where I am going and I have a new woman in my life – granted, we are not yet official but it feels as strong as it possibly could be and as close to a sealed deal as it could possibly be. I am seeing her again next week and we are spending about four days together. We have recently spoken about going on a mini break during the summer.

Two years of metaphorical death, two years of rebirth and when I look back to three years ago, everything is different, everything has changed. For better or for worse, Easter has come to mean a time of changes – I had two mini winters and two mini springs. I’m not a Christian, nor am I a Neo-Pagan and I’m sure those of you who are either of those things will read into that whatever meaning you want to see (sorry, but that is not an invitation to preach).

Life feels good right now – what a change from that Easter when everything started to go wrong.

Advertisements

Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

2 thoughts on “What Easter Has Come to Mean For Me

  1. I associate Spring with change, and it sounds like Spring is really is the season of change for you!
    I associate Easter with parties and days off of work, just like every other holiday!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s