Posted in Dating / Relationships, Gender, Sex & Intimacy

Men and Women Objectify Each Other – And it’s Natural!

Karen Straughan is fast becoming my favourite vlogger. Where most anti-feminists have a Conservative Christian agenda, rarely do you see one who approaches gender roles and equality from a completely rationalist perspective.

Please first watch this video. I’ve already watched a few of her vlogs but this one really caught my eye.

It speaks to the double standards, naturally, of the feminist who complains about being objectified for her body when she will do exactly the same to men… and excuse it in any number of ways.

So how do women objectify men?

  • “Diet Coke Break” objectifies the male body
  • The desirability of a tall, strong, muscly man – he is being objectified in the role of protector
  • The desirability of an educated man with a good job – he is being objectified in his role as provider
  • The desirability of an emotionally strong man (usually worded as “I want a real man”) – to provide the emotional stoicism and mental strength that we are supposed to all possess so we do not appear weak (which as I have said countless times is detrimental to male mental health, but let’s not get off topic here)

The above are no different from a man objectifying a woman for youth and beauty. The fact that it is far less talked about, or that feminists will always attempt to excuse it by using smoke and mirror phrases, it doesn’t change – as Straughan says – that men objectify women for their appearance of health and youth (as ornaments), and women objectify men for their utility to women (as appliances)

Sex sells, but it is also natural for the continuation of the species. When a woman is approached in a bar by a man who is shorter then her, is overweight and balding then she is not rejecting him on the basis of feeling a lack of emotional connection – unless she is able to read his mind. Whichever way you look at it, she is objectifying him as not good enough for her purely because he is short, balding and overweight.

That’s not to say that objectification cannot be a bad thing – of course it can be and we had the perfect example of that a couple of weeks ago in the USA when a disturbed individual decided he would kill a group of people in revenge. Personally, I think that gender roles in the USA are screwed up and I personally cannot identify with the problems that both men and women complain about the other gender. Again, that’s another subject.

The problem arises when we are unable to see members of the opposite sex as people with the same needs and desires that we have.  When out of control we use people: a gold-digging woman is no different from a man who uses women for sex; to me it is the same thing.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “Men and Women Objectify Each Other – And it’s Natural!

  1. I definitely agree that a goldigger and a womanizer are the same.
    I like how she (or whomever she was quoting) broke down the biology of why we objectify each other. And the hypocrisy of saying you want to be known for your utility, but then participating in your own objectification. And also saying they can objectify but men can’t. That just sounds like pre-school logic!
    But I would point out that when these women complain about being objectified, it’s because they don’t want their own utility and capabilities to be downplayed or ignored. I guess women want their cake and eat it too! Because of course we want to be seen as attractive, I mean duh. Whereas men are objectified on their actions and resources, therefore can be taken seriously and be attractive in and out of the bedroom.

    1. it’s because they don’t want their own utility and capabilities to be downplayed or ignored.

      Of course not, just as a man wants to be seen as more than a bank account a woman wants to be seen as more than her body.

      It only becomes a problem when a person sees another purely for what they can get out of them, instead of treating them as an individual.

      When it really comes down to it, both extremes are just mercenary behaviour.

      1. “It only becomes a problem when a person sees another purely for what they can get out of them, instead of treating them as an individual.”- I completely agree, especially when it comes to dating.

        I guess what I’m trying to differentiate is that women don’t wanna be objectified as a body while at work and in dating, whereas it seems that men only have to worry about being objectified when it comes to dating. And I think it’s about the general message it sends and how it may affect women in the workplace.

        Personally, in dating, guys don’t treat you like a body usually. I mean some try but they don’t get far with me! They can sense if you’re willing to put up with that I guess, and they usually do find and appreciate other qualities about you. Same with work, maybe at first or behind my back they may be checking me out, but I am usually treated with respect and they acknowledge when I do good work.

        I guess it’s also a bad general message to say that that’s all men think about or the only way they can judge and see women, which isn’t true. Society keeps appealing to men’s sex drive and not much else, which I think is insulting to men’s intelligence actually when you think about it.

        My comment is mixed, sorry!

        1. No, your message made perfect sense. Thanks for commenting! I understand what you mean now – men are generally objectified in dating for what they provide (and this is something that not only gold diggers do because most women still expect men to pay for everything) something that doesn’t translate to a work situation in the way that women are.

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