Posted in Mental Health

Returning To “That Place”

I’m not typically one to get overly sentimental about places unless I have particularly strong memories or emotions associated with it. December made me realise that I can and do fall in love with places, especially when memories cover many years and both wonderful and bad memories. My recent holiday with Mirror Image actually brought me very close to the place mentioned in that article – it is about 40 miles away from the holiday home my family used to own and so naturally, we headed that way.
We visited several places that I had previously been with my ex-wife including one popular beauty spot. We took lots of photos. It felt wonderful to go there again and to finally “reclaim” this place- something I have done quite a bit over the last couple of years.

It also means that we passed by the cliff that I almost jumped off of nearly two years ago. She knew that it was located in the area and during the day, she asked if we would be passing anywhere near “that place” – immediately apologising if I didn’t want to talk about it.

I was glad that she did because it had been on my mind a bit, remembering that day and being determined one day to create a happy memory there. It’s a place you cannot avoid, it is on the main road crossing this particular area. There is some dramatic coastline and some sheer cliffs. A wonderful view and for me, a beautiful place to end it all.

We didn’t stop but when we passed the place I slowed down and nodded out of the window “It was here – just there. I pulled into that lay-by.” With a tear in her eye, my wonderful girlfriend leaned across the car, kissed me on the cheek and said: “This is where you chose to live”. A lump formed in my throat and thanked her for coming into my life. I am so happy to be once again with somebody who understands, somebody who gets me and appreciates me. Yes my darling, it’s no longer the place I almost ended it all…

This is Where I Chose to Live



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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