Posted in Dating / Relationships

Find a Girl, Settle Down…

Mirror Image and I have been officially a couple for about five months now and we class our anniversary as the day we met (early December). We live 200 miles apart and travel to see each other whenever we can. It could not remain this way forever, there is going to come a time when we strongly desire to see more of each other than we do. Each time we part, I miss her just that little bit more. She admits that when she feels low that she is even more sad because she simply can’t just come over and see me for a hug and talk about things.

The conversation had to come up at some point and this week we have made the first tentative enquiries about the possibility of living together. I am open to it and so is she, but we both know that it is still months away. She does not work full time and I am not earning enough to afford a move for myself. I am hoping to push towards better work and more money for what I do between now and New Year. It will be very tight then and virtually impossible to do now.

It isn’t just about the money, there are the other issues about moving in together. It would be such a big move for both us. For me, moving away from family and friends to another part of the country where I know nobody. For her, it will be the first time she has lived with a boyfriend.

I’m looking forward now to the day that every morning we wake up together is not one step closer to one of us going home. We will have our own space, privacy and not have to worry about keeping the landlady awake with noisy sex… hell, we can even have sex in whichever room we please, whenever we please. We will also not have to worry about the landlady coming in at 3am drunk and making a lot of noise. We will get to see those things that annoy each other about each other and it will really test the limits of our relationship. If we can’t live together then it will be a very short-lived move indeed! Arguments are likely (but perfectly normal and expected in all relationships) and we’ll get to see a “warts and all” side to each other. It will take our relationship forward though.

It will also be the first time I have lived with someone since living with my ex-wife. I have got used to having my own space and freedom, even while living with family, to shut myself away when need be. I think I am in the right place to make that move and we are going to talk about it again in the New Year when hopefully, the work situation has improved a little for both of us.

2015 is shaping up to be interesting.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

2 thoughts on “Find a Girl, Settle Down…

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