Posted in Dating / Relationships

My Christmas in a New Relationship

There was a time – maybe three years ago – that I felt I would and could never enjoy another Christmas while I was single and indeed, that Christmas would never be the same again now I had lost “our” Christmas that I had with my ex-wife. This year, all that changed.

We travelled separately to spend it with her parents. Mirror Image and I live 200 miles apart but she lives something like 350 miles away from her parents. She arrived a day earlier than I did so she was there to meet me at the station when I arrived. A hug and a kiss and I felt ready for the big day, and most importantly waking up on the big day to this person who was just a a year ago, somebody with whom I had had just one date.

I had already met her parents, but this time I met her sister and partner. I was warned of friction, I was warned of a few cross words, but everybody seemed to be on their best behaviour and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Most of all, I enjoyed giving presents to and receiving presents from somebody I can once again make a fuss of at this time of year. Neither of us have a lot of money so showing our appreciation to each other came in many forms.

I always feel philosophical at this time of year (for reasons discussed over and over again) and this year I have been struck by how much I feel blessed to have someone in my life that I love, that loves me, that appreciates me and wants to be with me. There is no greater feeling than that – but being woken up with a kiss and a steaming cup of coffee on Christmas morning from that person comes a damned close second 🙂

That gave me a warm fuzzy glow and after prompting her to put the drinks down I pulled her into bed for a long… cuddle. Her parents were downstairs and the door was open – that was all we had opportunity for then I’m afraid!

A walk on a crisp, cold Christmas morning enjoying the quiet and the country air, holding hands and feeling loved up. A happy end to a happy year and in the next couple of days, I am heading to see Mirror Image after she finishes work on 30th.

Enjoy your New Year and see you in 2015!



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

5 thoughts on “My Christmas in a New Relationship

  1. AWESOME! Awe. Some! So happy for your dude. As Goldie Hawn says, “A lotus grows in the mud.” You came through the mud my friend, and you came through it as a beautiful person, not angry, not bitter, not having given up on love. You still believe in love and that is beautiful.

    I wish I could say the same. What I went through with my Ex changed me in many ways. Some changes were good, others, not. I am coming up on a my 3 year Divorce Anniversary and I still cannot find it within myself to open up and let anyone in. Rather, I keep myself busy, working on my house, tackling one project after another or going for long long runs just so I don’t have to think about my single status. So I don’t have to think about how my Ex ruined me for any potentials. That is the hold he still has on me (unfortunately) and it pisses me off. He’s made it so that I am incapable of letting my guard down and trusting anyone.

    I loved what you wrote: “I have been struck by how much I feel blessed to have someone in my life that I love, that loves me, that appreciates me and wants to be with me.”
    That’s it right there, isn’t it. To have someone who loves and appreciates you and wants to be with you. I don’t think I ever had that with my Ex. He always had one foot in and one foot out.

    Whatever. Right?!

    Anyway, Happy New Year to you from Boston. 🙂


    1. Welcome back! By following your blog as I have done so for the last few months, I can see you are still going through a lot of crap. I hope 2015 is the year you come out the other side and find some sort of happiness within yourself.

      All the best for the new year.

      1. Thank you. I haven’t been keeping up with the blogs I follow. My dad recently took ill (stage III colon cancer) and is now living with me so I have been consumed.

        Believe me, I a, happy within. Had you said that last year, I would have agreed with you. But this year… I can truly say I am happy and content. Sometimes I think, ‘Gee, it would be nice to have a boyfriend…’ and then I think about all the shit I’ve got going on and how much work is involved with dating, meting out the duds until you find the the person you click with… and then I think about how much my Ex ruined my ability to trust and…well… I’m right back where I started, mired in the fear. The fear of getting hurt.

        I think 2015 is going to be a year of growth. I’ve had to make a lot of adjustments since my dad moved in and initially it was making me miserable but I found I have to pick my battles. Who knows, maybe this is exactly the primer I need so that maybe one day I can live with someone again.

        We shall see my friend. We shall see.

    1. I’ll keep a closer eye on the spam folder, it’s weird it’s suddenly started doing that to you.

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