Do you ever wake up on New Year’s Day and have the strongest feeling that everything is going to change this year? I’m not talking about blind hope the turn from 31st December to 1st January means everything changes. It’s not even New Year in many cultures, and it’s only been New Year in western culture for about 500 years anyway.
No, I am talking about the feeling that where you are on 31st of December one year will be radically different from where you will be on 31st December the following year. Every year since 2012 started has felt transitional for me – almost strategic with each new year being a carefully staged strategy for the future.
I feel the future that I was planning for is now here.
2012 was the year I did a lot of soul searching and started the process of moving on from many things. It was the year we filed for divorce, the year I started dating and the year my ex-wife and I physically separated. It was the year I met Miss X in person. It was the year I hit rock bottom and almost took my own life. I had therapy and tackled a lot of ongoing problems.
2013 was the year I started to move forward, and grow. I dated a lot, I fell in love several times and finally met the person who would become my girlfriend. I left a job I loathed and moved into self-employment. I moved on from therapy and discovered Mindfulness to help me when my mood started to sink.
2014 was the year I found what I wanted, the year I became comfortable with what and who I am. It was the year I cut toxic people from my life (Miss X most notably). It was the year I became comfortable with my own sexual desires, not feeling guilty about what I want or being made to feel that what I wanted was unimportant. It was the year I embraced being a hopeless romantic and decided it was ok to want enjoy the sex that I want.
And this year… Mirror Image and I have been talking about moving in together. It would mean me moving over 200 miles to be with her, but I am ready. This month we begin the slow process of living together as a couple as we will now be spending weeks together at a time, with me being at her rented accommodation working while she is at her job. Her landlady has not only endorsed me being in the house on my own, but she was the one who suggested it.
Business is getting busier, October-December was my busiest quarter and October particularly was ridiculously busy. I am slowly working towards earning enough to support myself. When Mirror Image and I have our own place, we should be fine with few money worries.
Bring it on 2015, bring on your changes because I’m ready to move to the next stage of my life.