Posted in Mental Health

This is the Reality for Male Victims of DV

This harrowing video is all too realistic of the problems faced by male victims of domestic violence at the hands of a female partner. I counted just one act of physical violence in the film but as we can see, words can do much more damage in the long run.

She constantly belittles him, infantilises him, tears him down, and makes him feel worthless and stupid while reminding him just how lucky he is to have her. She blames him for her raging outbursts, for the mess she causes.

More than that, it demonstrates how we perpetuate this kind of behaviour in several other ways: notice how she tells his sister how useless and lazy he is. Notice the sister’s comment “you have him well trained” and the girls have a laugh about it while this man is living in fear of the abuse he suffers, unable to tell his own sister what is really going on. She knows, she can tell something isn’t right, but he feels he can’t.

He breaks down, he cries. He is unable to speak up and no doubt feels less of a man for not being able to stand up to a woman much smaller than he is. Their perfect life is anything but perfect. The emotional abuse he suffers is arguably doing far more damage than any physical abuse he may be suffering.

She threatens to go to the police to tell him what he has done (nothing, but she knows her gender gives her certain privileges all she needs to do is tell them that he hits her) and so the circle goes round.

Mankind Initiative is the only dedicated charity in the UK to helping male victims of domestic violence.

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

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