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Farewell to the 30s: Another Decade Beckons

So here I am, starting my 40th birthday in the face. Many people go into despair at this point as though their lives are over to all intents and purposes. I’m not. I can’t fight it and I’d rather be 40 than dead. I’d rather be 40 and self-employed having been through everything I’ve been through than 30 and wondering where the hell my life might be going, as so many people seem to do these days. 

I see it far more positively than that though. My 30s were the most dramatic years of my life and despite everything, I wouldn’t change them.

  • At 29-30, I made some of the closest and most loyal friends I could ever hope to meet
  • At 30, I moved in with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with
  • At 32, I finished my degree and got a good grade from a great university
  • At 33, I got engaged
  • At 34, I finished my master’s degree and got married
  • Around my 36th birthday, my marriage began to break down with my wife’s affair
  • At 37, I filed for divorce and began dating, meeting some truly amazing people
  • Also at 37, I almost took my own life
  • Shortly after my 38th birthday, my divorce finalised and I was free
  • Also at 38, I set up my own business
  • Also at 38, I met my now girlfriend
  • At 39, I realised I was head over heels for Mirror Image and we made our relationship formal to the world

I hate to summarise ten years of my life in just a few lines, but when I look at it, it makes me realise how quickly the decade flew by. At 30, I would neve have imagined where I would be now on the eve of my 40th. I could never have predicted the pain and the joy, the people I met at university and in dating. I could never have imagined the one person I trusted in the world betraying that trust.

If my 40s are as eventful as my 30s were, then I am in for a fun ride. I am in a stable place. I am happy. I have an amazing, beautiful girlfriend, a great sex life, self-employment is going well but could be better and we may move in together in a place I have always felt drawn to. I have no children, no commitments beyond my relationship and the world remains my oyster.

I intend for this next decade to be every bit the adventure as the last one.

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Author:

I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

7 thoughts on “Farewell to the 30s: Another Decade Beckons

  1. Happy Birthday!!!!

    Currently I am staring 48 in the face. My b-day is March 25th. I like how you summarized your 30s. Maybe I’ll nick your idea and summarize what my 40s has been like. I have to tell you though, turning 40 was AWESOME! I love being in my 40s (although, I am not thrilled about staring down 50).

    Like you, I never expected the one person I trusted. The one person who claimed to “always have” my “back” to betray me. Awful, isn’t it?

    I am happy for you CUCH. Life threw you some curve balls; however, you managed those curve balls and came out on the other side. Well done!

    🙂

    -Susan

    1. Wonderful, i’m sure he will love it. There’s so much to do and see that he could never cover it in a lifetime, let alone in a week or two 🙂

    1. lol. If they make you feel brain dead then surely that’s evidence that you’re not. Another ultimate paradox 🙂

      Thanks, I will take a look when I am back from my birthday break 🙂

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