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Farewell to the 30s: Another Decade Beckons

So here I am, starting my 40th birthday in the face. Many people go into despair at this point as though their lives are over to all intents and purposes. I’m not. I can’t fight it and I’d rather be 40 than dead. I’d rather be 40 and self-employed having been through everything I’ve been through than 30 and wondering where the hell my life might be going, as so many people seem to do these days. 

I see it far more positively than that though. My 30s were the most dramatic years of my life and despite everything, I wouldn’t change them.

  • At 29-30, I made some of the closest and most loyal friends I could ever hope to meet
  • At 30, I moved in with the woman I thought I would spend the rest of my life with
  • At 32, I finished my degree and got a good grade from a great university
  • At 33, I got engaged
  • At 34, I finished my master’s degree and got married
  • Around my 36th birthday, my marriage began to break down with my wife’s affair
  • At 37, I filed for divorce and began dating, meeting some truly amazing people
  • Also at 37, I almost took my own life
  • Shortly after my 38th birthday, my divorce finalised and I was free
  • Also at 38, I set up my own business
  • Also at 38, I met my now girlfriend
  • At 39, I realised I was head over heels for Mirror Image and we made our relationship formal to the world

I hate to summarise ten years of my life in just a few lines, but when I look at it, it makes me realise how quickly the decade flew by. At 30, I would neve have imagined where I would be now on the eve of my 40th. I could never have predicted the pain and the joy, the people I met at university and in dating. I could never have imagined the one person I trusted in the world betraying that trust.

If my 40s are as eventful as my 30s were, then I am in for a fun ride. I am in a stable place. I am happy. I have an amazing, beautiful girlfriend, a great sex life, self-employment is going well but could be better and we may move in together in a place I have always felt drawn to. I have no children, no commitments beyond my relationship and the world remains my oyster.

I intend for this next decade to be every bit the adventure as the last one.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

7 thoughts on “Farewell to the 30s: Another Decade Beckons

  1. Happy Birthday!!!!

    Currently I am staring 48 in the face. My b-day is March 25th. I like how you summarized your 30s. Maybe I’ll nick your idea and summarize what my 40s has been like. I have to tell you though, turning 40 was AWESOME! I love being in my 40s (although, I am not thrilled about staring down 50).

    Like you, I never expected the one person I trusted. The one person who claimed to “always have” my “back” to betray me. Awful, isn’t it?

    I am happy for you CUCH. Life threw you some curve balls; however, you managed those curve balls and came out on the other side. Well done!



    1. Wonderful, i’m sure he will love it. There’s so much to do and see that he could never cover it in a lifetime, let alone in a week or two 🙂

    1. lol. If they make you feel brain dead then surely that’s evidence that you’re not. Another ultimate paradox 🙂

      Thanks, I will take a look when I am back from my birthday break 🙂

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