Posted in Mental Health, Self Esteem

Introvert and Proud

I hit 40 in the last week and for many, it is a time of glumness and misery and the descent past what is typically the halfway point of the average human lifespan. Yet in recent years, friends and acquaintances who have turned 40 have felt the opposite – some sort of rejuvenation.I know I have not discussed Little Red for many, many months and have had no reason to do so. We remain in contact though unlikely to be meeting in person again anytime soon. She is approximately 18 months my senior and turned 40 in autumn 2013. She went travelling with her boyfriend for about a month.

While I was dating Indiechick, she too turned 40 about that time and during our last conversation January last year, she too told me she no longer felt burdened by the worries of her younger self. Now I get why.There

There comes a point in your life when what you have been through in life gives you a perspective, where those experiences force you into a position of self-acceptance, where you stop trying to conform to what others expect of you and realise that you are your own person. For many, that is probably when we reach middle age and the big 4-0 and we realise that little things don’t matter. What matters is that we make the best of who we are and what we are.

What am I? Who am I? I am a proud introvert and I have no need or reason to justify my silence to you or anybody else. I do not have to justify why I do not like wild parties or staying out until 3am. I do not have to justify why I have had my fill of people for now and would rather spend some time on my own for the next few days.

  • Being an introvert does not mean I am socially inept – I mix well with people, but I have a definite comfort zone
  • Being an introvert does not mean I am shy though I certainly used to be. Get me onto a subject that I am interested in and you might find you have trouble keeping me quiet
  • Introversion is not a mental illness
  • Introversion is not something you can cure by taking me to a nightclub with loud music

As I pass my 40th birthday, I think I have finally reached that sweet spot of self-acceptance. My opinion of myself is no longer defined by how others see me.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

3 thoughts on “Introvert and Proud

  1. Well said CUCH! i turned 40 last April (with number 41 coming up on the 17th). You made some great points about becoming comfortable with one’s self as you age. Also, i think a lot of the points you raised about being an introvert are also true of most people in their 40s like us (See how I did that?) Not liking loud music and the club scene doesn’t necessarily make you an introvert; sometimes it just means that you’re settling down. I definitely had my club phase. Now, like you I’m just as content with a quiet evening at home.

    1. I did the clubbing thing for about 5 years and even then it was about seeing friends rather than loud music. By about 24 I could think of much better things to do with my time and money.

      Here’s to being 40 and happy!

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