Posted in Dating / Relationships

Male Sexual Attraction: A Puzzle for Schrodinger?

In the game of sex-shaming and ridiculing, there is no greater dichotomy than how people see male sexuality and male sexual desire and how men are judged for the choices we make in who we approach (or don’t approach), who we sleep with (or won’t sleep with). We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t in many areas. How does this manifest itself?

Most often, it manifests itself as If I want to sleep with you I’m a pervert/pig/creep. If I don’t want to sleep with you, I’m shallow. This is something that many self-conscious men feel and have experienced from women. The incorrect attitude that men are led around by our penises is half the problem.

It also manifests itself how badly women often take rejection from an object of their desire. This is often fuelled by the attitude that men are led around by their dicks and can’t say no; it is taken as a personal affront any time a man says “no”. So here is the puzzle for Schrodinger:

  • It has often been said that men will sleep with anything. We can’t help ourselves. Present us with anything that looks female and we’ll sleep with it if she’s willing. Every hole is a goal, apparently. So long as she has a hole she’s willing to let us put our penises in, nothing else matters.
  • It has also been said, often by the same women, often with a straight face, often within moments of making the last statement that men are shallow. We won’t date or sleep with “strong” women, successful women, fat women, tall women, women with glasses, women who aren’t blond or anyone else who isn’t conventionally hot.

If we’ll sleep with anything, we won’t turn down any woman for any reason if sex is a very real possibility at some point. After all, sex is sex is sex and that’s all that motivates us (apparently)

If we’re shallow, then average looking women will never get a look in. As it is, some women cannot stand that plain women are more successful in the dating game than they are and are exasperated that “ugly” women are getting “hot” men.

I really would like an explanation for how anyone can hold the two clearly contradictory viewpoints above?



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

4 thoughts on “Male Sexual Attraction: A Puzzle for Schrodinger?

  1. I think the problem is, women think (and analyze) to much instead of just accepting things at face value and not reading into it. Have you ever seen the movie: He’s Just Not That in to You? That movie sums up beautifully how women ‘over-think’ sh*t. We assign meaning to things that men never give a second thought to. My favorite line in that whole movie is: If a guy wants to go out with you, he’ll make it happen.” Or something like that. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie.

    1. Hey, thanks for commenting! Some men do it too, I know I do, so it’s not just a condition exclusive to women. When I was dating Ubergeek, the only girl to ever give me butterflies, I overanalysed that shit for a long time after she got back with her ex leaving me shocked and confused considering how things had gone so well.

      I just wish people would learn to see their own internal contradictions, really. If men are all shallow then we won’t sleep with anything.

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