I have always said and continue to maintain that opposite sex friendships can be the most rewarding and valuable most of us (men or women) will go through in our lives. Opposite sex friends often share an honesty that does not always exist between same-sex friends.
Female friends are scared of offending each other and male friends do not want to put a loyal, strong, long-term bond at risk by speaking out of turn and losing a valued confidante.
Yet sometimes, a man’s friendship is taken for granted by a woman. Here are five signs that your female friend is nothing of the sort.
Only When She’s Single
When people couple up it’s understandable that priorities change – especially when it becomes a long term thing. There was a time when me and my two closest male friends were all single and we saw a lot of each other. Now we are all in relationships we still make sure we see each other. It may not be as often, but we do see each other regularly. Your fake friend drops you when she has a boyfriend – and it’s not just a slow trailing off either. It’s almost immediate that she never has time for you, never returns your texts and ignores you Facebook shares to her wall. That is until she has a fight with him or they split up. Then she’s all over you again.
She’s Not Really Interested in You
Everything you do, everything you say is all about what she wants and thinks. She talks about herself a lot and rarely listens to what you have to say. You have an argument with your girlfriend and she can’t spare the time to help you out but expects you to drop everything for her. She talks about herself incessantly. Make no mistake about it – you’re there at her convenience/sufferance.
Everything is About Her – Even Apologies
When she offers to do you a favour, it’s because she wants to feel important and valued, to feel better about herself. It’s not loyalty, it’s not because it’s decent or helpful, but because she likes to put on a show.
On the rare occasion that she apologises for her bad behaviour, it’s not because she’s sorry – it’s because she has a delicate ego and needs to have it placated. Once again, her apology is about making herself feel better about her actions, not about making up to you in how she has wronged you and proving her decency and loyalty.
“All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one” – Scarface
Remember when you were going to be the first person she told that she was getting married? Remember when she promised to come over this weekend and you sat waiting patiently with the steaks you cooked? Remember when she promised to take you clothes shopping after you lost all that weight?
Yeah, I bet she never kept any of those promises, did she? Remember when she said she said she’d never let a romantic partner get in the way of your friendship? When did you stop believing her? The first time? The second time? The tenth time? She has very little respect for you or your friendship. If she did, she wouldn’t break so many promises or do it so often. Oh and she probably thinks you have an entitlement complex simply for expecting her to act as a friend should.
You’re An Accessory
This is a bit of a combination of all of the above. She treats you as a convenience, a bit like an appliance. When she needs company, a shoulder to cry on, somebody to give her a lift or pick her up when she’s stranded, when she is short of money, when she has something she wants to talk over. She picks you up and puts you down whenever she feels like it. She may even treat you as a surrogate boyfriend when she’s with her non-single female friends. You’re a male escort (without any of the benefits), a kettle, a loan company and a taxi service all in one. Don’t bother wasting your breath on asking her to fulfil any of these roles for you though, she will always be too busy.