Posted in Gender, Mental Health

Expressing Emotions: Men’s Double Bind

Related to my article from a couple of days ago – this succinct article on the double-bind of men expressing emotion.

Men's Psychology

It’s a common complaint: Men need to be more sensitive, why can’t they talk about their emotions? It’s Henry Higgins reincarnated as a woman: Why can’t a man be more like a woman?

Men are all too familiar with this double-bind:

Men are shamed by women and men alike when expressing their hurts and articulating their needs, but once shamed into silence men are again shamed for their failure to communicate.

Knowing he’ll be shamed either way, a man chooses the lesser of two evils. Heather Gray writes, “As a therapist, I sit and talk with men all the time and what I most often hear is that when they try to talk to their wives about their upset, they are met with defensiveness”.

Dr Barbara Markway puts it like this: “Women tell men to express their feelings, but when they do, women are often petrified, if not horrified. Women want…

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I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

2 thoughts on “Expressing Emotions: Men’s Double Bind

    1. So you had a single instance of this happening and it is therefore a universal truth applying to all women? I’ve done so. My girlfriend knows about my mental illness, my ex-wife saw me crying. Made no difference.

      Women who treat men like that are prize idiots, blind to their privilege and lacking in the empathy women are supposed to have in abundance, but it’s dishonest to suggest that all women are like it. And let’s face it, it’s not just women – we do it to each other too.

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