Related to my article from a couple of days ago – this succinct article on the double-bind of men expressing emotion.
It’s a common complaint: Men need to be more sensitive, why can’t they talk about their emotions? It’s Henry Higgins reincarnated as a woman: Why can’t a man be more like a woman?
Men are all too familiar with this double-bind:
Men are shamed by women and men alike when expressing their hurts and articulating their needs, but once shamed into silence men are again shamed for their failure to communicate.
Knowing he’ll be shamed either way, a man chooses the lesser of two evils. Heather Gray writes, “As a therapist, I sit and talk with men all the time and what I most often hear is that when they try to talk to their wives about their upset, they are met with defensiveness”.
Dr Barbara Markway puts it like this: “Women tell men to express their feelings, but when they do, women are often petrified, if not horrified. Women want…
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