I’ve been concerned for some time that Good Men Project had devolved into little more than click-bait. Too much content is worryingly pro-feminist too. What articles that appear on the site do post from that angle are usually pounced on by a small and vocal group of women determined to derail the subjects to talk about women and women’s issues.
It is not “Having The Conversation That Nobody Else Is Having” any more, if it ever was. I am happy to read about gay rights, black rights and transgender rights… so long as they pertain to men and men’s issues. Yet so much content is aimed at women – dating advice for women, how to cut toxic men out of your life, women’s issues, women’s history. If it is not gender neutral, it’s aimed solely at women.
When it is about men’s issues, so many are critical of male behaviour and attitudes. It pushes an agenda for men to act and be a certain way that only differs in philosophy from the damaging “Real Man” attitude. Expecting a man to fit inside a box is unhelpful whether it’s the traditional box or an ultra-modern box where he explores his feminine side and sheds the limited expectations of how a man should act. If we’re to forge a new masculinity, it should not be deferring to women, and certainly not to feminists in making those decisions for us. Many writers at GMP fail to grasp the simple premise.
While there is still a lot of content that I value, such as articles on men’s rights to remain child-free, articles on Man The Success Object, mental health, societies expectations and so on, it is few and far between. There are too many articles that implore men to treat women as “goddesses” put them on pedestals while in the same article, treating women as special, delicate snowflakes who must never be criticised or challenged. “Mansplaining” is now merely disagreeing with a woman, and not as it once was, being a condescending chauvinist towards her.
GMP is reinforcing a problem that it pretends to challenge – the idea that masculinity is largely negative and threatening. Every day it reinforces that stereotype while simultaneously promoting the idea that women are generally blameless and we may excuse all of their bad behaviour. I can no longer engage with that. As somebody who was cheated on, I resent the continued implication that women only cheat for good reason. As a man who wishes to remain child-free, I resent the implication that should my partner desire children, I should simply put my needs and desires second in order to prove myself a “Good Man”. I resent the implication that going for what I want in life makes me selfish. I resent the implication that bad behaviour in women should not be met with treating her like and adult.
So I am looking for more resources and other sites to read on the gender debate that isn’t heavily weighted in favour of feminism, but all I find is MRA sites like AVfM. I find their right wing agenda irrelevant to gender discussions and their tone often unhelpful. I am not right wing, nor am I a traditionalist, yet most of their content is just that. They seem to promote the nuclear family and I really do not care about that one iota. I am not interested in PUA pseudopsychology, nor in the often bitter tone of MGTOW sites even though I have some sympathy with the latter, the problem is often the execution.
I recently discovered InsideMAN and am finding it very enlightening. It’s a British site featuring writers from across the political spectrum. Nowhere else would you get a writer for The Telegraph and The Guardian agreeing methinks! If anybody has any suggestions similar to the content on this, I would be grateful.