Posted in Gender

Who Pays on a Date?

I realise this question is never going to be satisfactorily answered, but here is an explanation from a man’s point of view for why you should at least try to pay. His comment at the beginning “if the guy should always pay, you should have sex with him whenever he demands”. Cue lots of protests from the same people who think men “should” do something.

What are your thoughts on this? I’ve always felt a woman should at least offer to pay. If you think a man should pay for your time and he should be grateful, then you do not believe in equality. If you out-earn your date, then you certainly should put your hand in your pocket.



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

6 thoughts on “Who Pays on a Date?

  1. I am in 100% agreement. Women should pay half. The dinner/movie/drinks, whatever the bill is, should be split 50/50. Now, if the man would like to pick up the entire tab because he’s feeling generous, then by all means, please do so. Same for the woman, there is nothing wrong with her paying for the entire evening. But to expect the man to pay?!?! Pfffffffffffft! Heil no! This is modern times. Women should pay half.

  2. Ok, I just watched the video and I am in 100% agreement wit him. Women should contribute… if they cannot afford to pay half, they should at least try and pay something…

    Although, to be honest, CUCH, if I’m out on a date and the guy wants to go some place I know is outside my pay scale, I’ll say, up front: “Sorry, that place is too rich for my blood. Could we find something less pricey?” If he says, “Why?” I’ll say, “I cannot afford it.” If he says, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay.” It will be in that moment when I say, “I don’t know… I don’t if I feel comfortable with paying the entire tab.”

    Ya know what I mean?

    1. Hey, welcome back! Of course, absolutely nothing wrong with offering to pay, ever. Even though I think women should treat their men more often than they do.

      The issue with this video is entitlement. It’s about the expectation that men pay, always. That is what pisses me off. As the guy says, if he is obliged to pay for your time then you are obliged to have sex with him whenever he demands it. And just watch that audience reaction!

      1. Hey! Thanks. It’s nice to be back. LOL!

        I agree! Women need to get over it. If we want equality, equal pay, etc… then we need to stop *expecting* men to pay. The world doesn’t work that way anymore. Men paying was probably established during a time when women didn’t work and it was a chivalry thing… I’m guessing here.

        I don’t expect men to pay. That’s too old fashioned.

  3. I kinda subscribe to the “you ask, you buy” philosophy. The person who does the asking out on the date is the one that pays for the date. Of course, like he said in the video it’s the gesture of offering to pay or split the bill that matters.

    1. The problem is when a certain type of woman hides behind this argument, they will often say “the man should also ask – be the man, take the lead” which is tantamount to saying that the man should always pay.

      It’s funny how many strong, independent feminists who are quick to point out how much they believe in equality become staunch traditionalists when it comes to seeing the bill at the end of the night.

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