Posted in Dating / Relationships

First Christmas…

Although this is not our first Christmas as a couple, it is our first as a live in couple. And it will be just us 🙂 The last two Christmases we have spent with my other half’s family. I have been adamant for months that I wanted to stay here in my new home this year and not travel as we have the last couple of years. The provision that family can come to see us if they wish is there, and we may see my brother at some point, but it looks as though Christmas Day will be just me and my other half.

This is our chance to do Christmas our way. She’s never done a Christmas with a partner before in her own place, getting to decorate her home how she / we would like it and now, at the end of November, I think that penny has dropped that this is her home. She’s become quite emotional (in a happy way) over the last month at just thinking about having a nice and relaxing Christmas without having to think of anybody else.


For my part, it will be the first time I have had a Christmas with a partner and nobody else since 2008. Yes, that long. In 2009 as recently married couple, we spent Christmas with my ex’s mother. In 2010, it was the same again. In 2011, the year our marriage broke down, I spent it with my mother and brother and wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible. This was hard because my ex and I had always made such a big thing of Christmas. When we were students, we’d really get absorbed in the season, going to carol concerts, visiting late night markets and festivals to get us into the spirit. It really made us both appreciate what we had rather than focusing on how much we were going to spend.

2012 was the year I almost took my own life. I was expecting to dread it, but in those weeks up to Christmas, a new vibrant lust for life hit me. 2013 was the year I met Mirror Image. Although we had only been on one date during that year, that Christmas was wonderful in many ways, not least of all because we met in person for the first time just a few weeks before that. In 2014, we travelled to spend it with my gf’s parents some 300 miles away. Last year, they came to see us and we hired a property not far from where we now live together. We spent New Year with my family.

So you see it’s been a long time since I’ve had a truly couple’s Christmas. I’m looking forward to it. I hope you are too 🙂



I go by the name of Frank Speaking. My blog "In the Mind of Men" (former name Chin Up, Chest High) started out as a chronicle of my mental health recovery. Now it is a forum where I discuss issues related to male mental health.

5 thoughts on “First Christmas…

  1. I would love to know what it’s like to spend Christmas with a partner. Sadly it is not to be. I hope you guys enjoy your quality time together 🙂

  2. That’s awesome!!!

    I enjoyed my Xmas alone, with the cats and It’s A Wonderful Life. I loved every minute of being alone.

    1. Some people really cannot stand being on their own. I’m generally very happy in my own company most of the time.

      1. So true, hence the reason why there are so many dating websites. My feeling is, if a person cannot be alone they are no good to anyone else. All told, I refuse to attach myself to anyone ever again. I’m not saying this is the healthiest philosophy but for me, it’s all about self-preservation.

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